My Declaration of Freedom / My Confession
Welcome to Legaholic Anonymous.
Hi, my name is Bob, and I'm a Legaholic.
I wasn't always a Legalist. But from the first time I was locked up in a room, and fought my way out, breaking a window in the process (I was 5 and still got the scars to prove it), I was hooked. Control has been my drug of choice since the first time I got into a fight (I stuttered and spoke with a lisp). It felt good to beat the snot out of those bullies. So I've controlled everything I could since.
Hi, my name is Bob, and I'm a Legaholic.
I wasn't always a Legalist. But from the first time I was locked up in a room, and fought my way out, breaking a window in the process (I was 5 and still got the scars to prove it), I was hooked. Control has been my drug of choice since the first time I got into a fight (I stuttered and spoke with a lisp). It felt good to beat the snot out of those bullies. So I've controlled everything I could since.
Behind The Face of Grace
Now, I've put on a good 'Face of Grace' to everyone else, but inside, I'm a legaholic at heart—small, mean, and miserable. My pride feeds me and holds the keys to my prison. Yea, I've never really tried to break free. I kept all the laws, rules, principles, and disciplines. I've worked the programs, obtained the degrees, and jumped through all the right hoops, and quite frankly, I suck at it. I can't do it anymore. I give up.
Yeah, I got saved and it was wonderful. But then I got "Churched." You know the score--taught all the rules, I slowly died, bit by bit. I couldn't just sit there, and be a pew warmer. I'm a fighter, a revolutionary, a creative. The church gerbil wheel never set me free.
DiscipAholic / Go Drink The Kool Aide
Yeah, Yeah.Tithing? My whole paycheck went in. I was Fasting (Total) 2 days a week, with 7 day water fasts thrown in for good measure, Praying 3 hrs a day (holed up in my room), Intercessory Meetings during the week, Singing and Writing for a band, Teaching, Preaching, Witnessing, and Working Overtime—I did it all. However, my family suffered most. They took the blunt as I Broke, Again and Again, Year after Year. Like a fighter I'd get up and get knocked down as I fought to get it right. Man, all I can say is Legalism Sucks! I can't get it right. I break down sometimes a hundred times a day.
Filled With The Spirit
Yeah, I'm filled with the Spirit. I speak in tongues, prophesy, see visions, and miracles happen. But what good is it when you're totally broken inside.. My inner legalism, my pursuit of perfectionism, has killed me.
What Right Church ?
Oh, the right church? Yeah, I've tried 'em all. Denominational to Theater Church...Liturgical to Messianic. I've failed at them all. Most teach grace while their lives preach performance. I never fit in.
Hittin' The Bar of Religion
So, if I hit the Bar of Religion and Drink just one sip of Legalism, I can't stop. I'm a Legaholic. I drink and drink until I get sloppy drunk on Control. Sure, I'm drinking to get Holiness, but what I get is this pounding headache of Spiritual Pride.
So, let me say it again. Religion is when our lips speak grace, while our lives preach performance. It will kill you dead, after its sucked all the life out of you. Religion is a vampire.
My Manifesto of Relationship
So I'm declaring a Manifesto of Freedom from all this mess--Internally and Externally. I can't fix the Church, and I can't fix me. So, I'm beginning again with God, and what I've experienced. I'm seeing simple stupid stuff that nobody's talking about. And it's at the heart of God. We've been Married to God and living a Divorced Life. And it truly sucks! Especially, when the solution is so simple.
Faceing Grace / Turning and Learning
There are so many like me, who've been hurt, wounded and left out in the cold. Relationally, so much of 'church life' is an “outside looking in” approach to God, rather than dwelling in the presence of God. We work it up (The Pentecostal/Charismatic Liturgy of Emotion), We move through the forms brain dead, (Liturgy Zombies), We lecture about it, around it and talk to people like they're idiots.(The Alter Call Dance). Our forms however are not the problem. Our position is. Quite frankly it's our relationship to Jesus.
So, if our life proceeds from God, then, it is as we dwell in His Presence, preach in His Presence, breathe, live, walk and talk in His Presence, permeate our environment with His Presence, then, everything changes. It is thus, God that is the answer and not we ourselves. It is Christ in us that moves us from glory to glory. Our job is stupid simple. Do what He speaks to your heart to do ...minute by minute, not what every religious expert says.. First thing in the morning, hit your knees and ask for help, guidance and strength. Will you miss it? Absolutely. Will you screw it up? Without a doubt. Just ask me. But you will learn the Voice of God, and in your life, everything changes in the presence of God.
And that's what I'm doing from this point on.
And that's what I'm doing from this point on.
Hi, My name's Bob, and I'm in love with Jesus.
