Image via WikipediaWith your permission, I would like to tell you a brief bit of my story, to model a real solution for our masculine anger.
Thrown into a room, the little boy looked up as the door locked, and closed him in.
Anger has been a real issue my whole life. Like most guys, I'm wired to go from 0 to 60 in less than a second. It comes with the territory of being a warrior, and a protector.
But being a peaceful warrior has alluded me all these years. I've hurt a lot of people, especially those close to me.
From Anger To Rage
It all started when I was five. Yeah, that early. I was being a kid, and my big brother, who was babysitting me at the time, threw me into a room, and locked the door. I immediately busted out a window, with my fist. I can still feel how it felt, the blood spurting out of my wrist with every heartbeat. It hardwired anger deep into my subconscious. The sad part of it is that it happened more than once. And then, I was sexually abused, compounding my anger into rage...and again. Some things we forgive, but we never forget. And the hurt lingers on, buried in some dark part of our souls, waiting for the right trigger.
Cycling Through
So for me, the process goes something like this: I feel threatened -- to anger -- to hurt -- to getting hurt -- and then comes deep dark depression, and it cycles through again and again.
What Didn't Work
So I tried everything I could think of: Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Church, Fasting, Prayer, Deliverance, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, Counseling, Medications, Yoga, Ti Chi, Meditation, and every Self-Help Book or Program I could find. As a side note, with Meditation, I got to the point of consistent waking delta, or kundalini. It probably saved my life. But I soon found out, that it didn't heal my inner character.
Got A Clue
I jumped when Stephen Covey said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.” But sadly, it rarely worked for me. I would choose, and fail and fail and fail. But it was a start in the right direction.
The Light Dawns
It wasn't until I hit AA, that I started getting the answers I needed.
So, with a group of business leaders and military guys, we discussed what worked for them. Then I got it. And it's the only thing that works for me. Surrender. I've got less than a second to surrender to God, or I'll blow it! No thinking. Immediately, before the blink of an eye, I've got to give it all up to God. It's the light switch that keeps me sane. And the crazy part of it is, that this kind of surrender is always from a position of strength, rather than weakness. That's revolutionary. Weakness is continuing on with the insanity that never ends.
Surrendering To Win
So I cherish, and fuel the fire in my belly, the candle of serenity in my soul. And I'm learning how to set my thermostat better. How to push the pause button in the swirling chaos, standing back, to watch it all roll on by. Yes, "this too will pass." But better yet, I've found that the only way to truly win is through surrender--then I ask God show me what to do, if anything, or just be present.
That's my Secret. And it's the only thing I've found that truly works for me.
Now, Why would I be telling you all this. Well, to be honest, I'm not to concerned about what people think, But I'm passionate about helping those who are suffering like I have. If that's you, there's hope. But the heart honest truth is, there's just one way out. Surrender to Jesus. Don't think. Just do it. Then, settle into your heart, and ask Him what He would have you to do. Be still and listen. Break new ground. Expect Him to speak to your heart. And let me know how it works for you.
Bonus:
P.S.The Best Marriage Mentoring I've Ever Seen!
* Video 2 will blow you away!
*Video 5 has a heart exercise that will literally change your brain waves.
We as men have to get out of our heads and into our hearts before there can be any real intimacy.
Only then, are we able to demonstrate our Full Presence, our Sure Strength, and our Unconditional Commitment through our hearts. This is the masculine power of a man that stands immovable in the storms.
